Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Milestones and Memories
Yesterday was August 29, 2011...and the date that marked my husband's and my 20th wedding anniversary. Anniversaries, due to their very nature, have a notorious way of coming around every year, and because of their frequency, not all of them get more than a cursory acknowledgement. I've noticed that the speed and frequency seems to have increased somehow over the years, although the calendar hasn't changed and there have been no changes in the number of days, or the hours in a day. I remember hearing someone comparing a life to being a lot like a roll of toilet paper. As it nears the end, the roll spins ever faster. It's true.
However, I digress. Yesterday marked 20 years of co-habitation and the entanglement of emotions, property, worries, family, sex, and children between two people who, by the sheer odds against them, were unlikely to have met in the first place. To say it was technically our 20th Wedding Anniversary is a slight misnomer. The first year of our commitment to each other was blessed only by our mutual declaration that we indeed loved each other, wanted to live together forever, and therefore, we were married. We called it a "Native American Wedding". And that was that. Some months later, upon discovering that an offspring was in the process of creation, we decided that, for the youngster's sake and for our family's sake, perhaps more legitimacy would be in order. So, one year plus one month and almost exactly to the date of our original private commitment, we had a "proper ceremony", in a chapel, complete with the required license, a minister, some flowers, music, a cake, guestbook, champagne, and my insistence on wearing a veil.
There were some things, besides our differing opinions about Jacksonville, that threatened to stand in our way. He was 29. Newly divorced with two children. I was 41, and as mentioned, in a similar boat. He was working part time at nights in a restaurant as a baker. I had no job. None of this was stacking up favorably. Did I mention we met in a bar? But neither of us are ones to let a bit of logic or common sense stand in the way of true love. Besides: we both tend to be rebellious and contrary. The rest, as they say, is history.
Which brings me back to milestones and memory. We've chalked up 20 years together, and our son was born healthy (and legitimate) nearly 19 years ago. We are still in Jacksonville, and now it's unlikely we will ever leave, as our house of 14 years is mortgage free. It would not make sense to relocate now; try to start all over at our (read: "my") age. Besides, I've rather warmed up to Jacksonville. After all, this is where I met the love of my life! There have been good times and hard times, but looking over the whole canvas of our life together, there have been far more of the good times than otherwise.